I am not usually partial to irreverence, especially so from children and particularly when the children happen to be mine.
But I can, however, make exceptions.
The Hollands have joined Sam in France where he is working as a chalet host – a workforce who are the equivalent of modern day slaves but are unlikely to attract the support of many protest groups.
On to the slopes and all is well. The sun is out. Clear skies. An abundance of snow and absence of skiers make for perfect skiing and the Holland’s are hurtling downwards; congregating every now and then to make sure that we are all accounted for.
But then suddenly, we are a man down. Where is Paddy?
Hugging a mountain, some of the team have already gone down ahead. Nikki, Harry and I have stopped and are wondering if Paddy might too have gone down already? But none of us can be sure. So we wait and continue to deliberate with an eye up the mountain hoping for the pocket rocket to emerge. Further minutes pass with no sign and now gloves start to come off in order to retrieve iphones…
I am not worried but inevitably, Nikki starts to assume the worst. Bad news would be a fall. Even worse news would be a fall and then abduction by an opportunist deviant skier coming down on his own and chancing upon an injured child…
But then, good news – when over the brow of a hill, comes Paddy blasting down in search of his kin – and with no paedos in tow.
So, all is well, then?
Well, no, not really.
Because, it is clear to us all that Paddy is smarting at such abandonment by his irresponsible parents and miscreant brothers.
Certainly, any relief that he feels is held in abeyance for his anger.
Seeing us, he comes to an abrupt stop. He raises his hands above his head for a sarcastic hand clap and then loudly hisses the following…
“Thanks for waiting, you dicks!”
If he’s expecting apologies, then he is going to have to be patient as we all fall over laughing – in fact, my first fall of the week, but one well worth it.
So, thanks Paddy and some advice man…