On a busy main road a little along from where we live are a series of scruffy shops and cafes with car parking at right angles on the pavements only adding to the general unsightliness. Walking along with Nikki I spotted a cafe which I thought had a particularly ambitious name – The Madeira Beach Cafe. Madeira being a beautiful Mediterranean Island with views that come with miles of stunning sandy beaches and coves. This cafe, however, affording views only of Homebase, Lidl and Matalan across the road and even then only in-between the cars, trucks and buses that constantly hurtle past.
I pointed the cafe and its name out to Nikki and she burst out laughing in the way that she has always done. But now a lady of a certain age (and four kids down), the enjoyment of laughing comes at a risk and as incorrigible as I am, immediately, I spy an opportunity. Having dropped the car off for its service – we have a half mile walk home and with a little more laughter, there is every chance that Nikki will complete this walk with an empty bladder. Nothing like a challenge then?
‘Does it have a sea view?’ People must enquire. ‘Yeah. Brighton is only fifty miles away.’ Nikki’s laughing infection is building nicely and made worse by the thought of what might happen. She appeals to my kinder side to stop which I do. We remain dry and it seems that all is well.
Until I look down the street from the Madeira Beach Cafe and what do I see? I kid you not, but a hairdressing salon called Agassi Hair. Can you believe it. Agassi Hair! A tennis player who once he realised that he had God awful hair had the good sense to shave it all off – and now has no hair.
All I needed to do was gently point to the salon and Nikk’s great sense of humour and nature did did the rest.
Suffice to say that from here, we walked home in record time.