we need another relauch…

There are any number of new professions that we might be dubious of or at least wary of their exponents. I would say anyone who works in the wellness industry? Doctors and nurses take care of our health and have a long track record of success. And yet somehow a whole raft of new health experts have emerged and using a word that they’ve made up.

‘Influencers’ of course. Very low bar celebrities.  

Life coaches?

Personally, I am always wary of anyone using the word ‘space’ to describe their role in life. Surely, it is only astronauts who actually work in space.

Older professions also keen to keep up with modern trends and phraseology.

What is the collective noun for actors? Anyone?

Here in the UK, you might plump for the affectionate noun, ‘luvvie’ which I imagine, like most things nowadays is offensive to some people. The outraged types.

But no matter, because ‘luvvie’ is incorrect. The collective noun for actors is simply ‘talent’. As in ‘the talent’ and is particularly self-aggrandising. And it applies not just to actors but to anyone who appears on screen, big or small. Or on stage for that matter.

So a newsreader is ‘talent’ then. Or the person reading the weather bulletin and even in Saudi Arabia where everyday is a scorcher.

Of course Hollywood is the land of over-reach and explains why actors feel a need and a right to tell ordinary people (presumably the non-talented?) how to live and how to think. Awards season was even more painful this year being so protracted because of the virus and is increasingly becoming a warning of which films to avoid rather than to watch.

But ‘talent’ as a collective noun falls short because very often, the people ‘on-screen’ are just the fortunate or the connected and definitely not necessarily the best. ‘Talent’ is too broad and too presumptuous. And why it grates – and yet as collective nouns go, it is outdone by the ‘creatives.’

‘Creatives’ are most prevalent in advertising, an industry soaked in self-importance. The sombre government radio commercials about the pandemic designed to terrify us with the earnest voice overs; a good example of what happens when such professions combine. The voices are the ‘talent’ and the ads are conceived and written by the ‘creatives’.

As a stand-up comedian/writer/author  – I can be expected to be both talented and creative although I don’t lay claim to being either. Surely, this is for others to decide and not me.

But doing my thing – to prove my credentials as a ‘talent’ and a ‘creative’ is becoming ever  more difficult, complex and demanding which brings me to yet another new professional.

Because to prevail in this modern age, we must embrace the new frontier of technology and  there are no shortage of ‘experts’ on hand to scare us, confuse us and finally help us and  crucially in this order.

But technology is a broad church and its professionals cannot be categorised by a single noun.

People who work in the digital space.

They use new words (memes?) new acronyms (SEO) and even using familiar words, they manage to remain opaque (synergy and traction).

These are people with soft skills. They embrace things. They thrive on change. They speak gibberish and yet they are expert communicators. The Social Media Gurus. Web designers. SEO doctors. IT engineers…  

More generally, people who work in space – but not like astronauts.

And they make hay because any self-respecting business must have a broad digital presence – and appear prominently on all the ‘socials’.

Suicide not to. Simply put, if you aren’t online, you don’t even exist.

Which is why I have everything, albeit I am a reluctant adopter and behind every curve. I have a website, YT channel, this blog, a podcast (too occasional, I know), Patreon, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram (for now at least because I don’t know my pw’s to any of these)…

And having all these essential outlets is blinking exhausting. So consuming, there is little time or personal energy left to be actually entertaining. In modern speak, to be a ‘talent’/‘creative’.

I have had a long line of tech gurus to help me.

My current incumbent approached me on-line, (naturally). We are a year in to a difficult working relationship. Difficult because she is never satisfied. Nothing I provide is ever enough. She’s like a goldfish.

Could you just…

Why don’t you…

What you could do…

For a long time she has had my website in her cross-hairs and had me running for cover with a simple but terrifying phrase…  

“I think you should do a revamp/relaunch of your site.”

Eventually she dragged the content and answers out of me – and this week, after many tears (mine)  – dominicholland.co.uk is a brand new site. Albeit the some old bloke!

I am expecting nothing from this ‘new’ site. Just some peace and quiet from my tech guru for the next 12 months at least and this will be enough.

And for those readers feeling invisible in the digital space – and particularly those of a hardy constitution – then look no further than…


They are excellent. But don’t tell them I sent you – it might work against you.

7 thoughts on “we need another relauch…

  1. J says:

    My dad refuses to understand what a ‘meme’ is. All the dads I have encountered refuse to ever hear an explanation. I am convinced it’s some sort of universal code.

  2. Lorraine says:

    The new site looks great Dom, it’s nice and easy to navigate. Your guru did very well. Best wishes to you and looking forward to seeing what’s happening in May

  3. Sydnee Coleman says:

    Lovely blog, Mr. H, I love the new website, and by what you say, a talent and a creative, I am both but some days we all feel like neither. Also I don’t have a website to put down at the bottom, lol, but one day maybe. Have a good day

  4. Rachel says:

    The wildest thing about the website relaunch so far was I had to put my name and email AFTER my comment, and not before, like in the past. That was wild!
    I really enjoyed the blog this week! It is exhausting up keeping social media stuff; one’s enough, in my opinion, but certainly small businesses and “creatives” have to have every social just to get a view it seems.
    Hopefully you can reach some balance and get some piece of mind.
    Looking forward to next week’s blog!

  5. Rachel says:

    Always enjoy your blog and sense of humor. However, the writer and former English major in me (that weirdly loves to proofread) feels obligated to point out the lack of the “n” in the title word “relaunch” ?as much as I hate being that person (but I feel like it’s more appreciated by another writer?)

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