By this blog title I am nor referring to its size but its outcome.
I have mentioned here before that my carefully laid plans for my most successful book launch to date have been laid bare and hopelessly exposed. And yet I could not be prepared for the ice berg that awaited me on 29th July…
On the way to Heathrow with Tom, I receive an email from Amazon – along the lines… “…the paperback of I’Gabriel has been rejected. Your cover size is incorrect. Please add .0123″…”
In a mild/full-blown panic made worse by trying to get on-line at the airport – Tom introduces me to a ‘hotspot’ for the first time – and in doing so genuinely in my eyes becomes a superhero. I have Raef (my go to man for all things tech) on the phone – who in turn is on to Lion Logos – who might/will be able to make the necessary moderations to the jacket – as I wait helpless and completely impotent with my laptop precariously balanced on my raised knee. And it is not lost on me that I am standing outside a WH Smith book shop – full of authors who have no such drama in their lives. How boring and blinking wonderful.
Just ahead of boarding, the new file is received from raef (Via Lion – huge thanks to them) which I upload to the site – maybe in time to catch the US book buyers I hope.
When I land, I receive an email from a young man called Jack Williams – “your book can’t be paid for…”
From a mate – “Your book is saying a delivery of three weeks.”
From another mate – “I can’t get the kindle to download – just the sample…”
It is a disaster. The ice berg is fully struck – and I am taking on water – and yet I decide that being sanguine is the only way forward. It is funny, I say to myself. And typical and appropriate that I should cock things up so royally. After all, I’m a comedian – not an author.
And even though I keep checking the various websites for news of progress and something to cling on to…
I can’t help thinking to myself that from this most notorious maritime disaster came an epic movie with epic success and the same fate might await I’,Gabriel and although I will be long gone by this time – that the future Hollands will herald me and all will be well…
My thanks (again) to Raef and to Lion Logos – and all the people who have managed to get hold of a copy to date… I believe all issues have now been resolved but I am ready and fully expecting more glitches to come.