My timing is usually just off…

Timing is known to be critical for successful comedy.

Indeed, timing is a vital ingredient to every success story in almost all fields of endeavour.

Speaking of fields, I have wasted many thousands of hours in such places albeit these ‘fields’ are more manicured with fairways, greens and the rough of course which is impossible to avoid.

I understand that golf has been in the past and to some degree it remains an exclusionary sport. It has an ingrained snobbery with courses for only the elite. It is burdened with arcane rules and regulations. It is a sport with rigid dress codes and including too many old school ties.

But it is a remarkable sport also. Probably, the most difficult of all – to propel a small hard ball over such distances and in all weathers. A game of thousands of yards and mere inches to separate players. These are all things up for debate but golf is undoubtedly the most beautiful.

And to demonstrate this, I borrow the words from a little-known golf novel…

“A manicured green carpet, sweeping and undulating away as far as the eye can see – and particularly stunning is the links course, covered in wet dew each morning with the ocean beyond and a single flag poking above the early morning mist.”

I blame my dad for my love of golf. He played the game badly on which I have copied him and despite my best and continued efforts. It is why I introduced my own boys early to this fiendish game so that they wouldn’t suffer the same hurt and angst as I have done. More on this later.

Playing golf last Saturday with Sam and Paddy is a joyous thing anyway. That I am fit and able to play. That my boys want to play with their old man. That we have a club we all belong to. That the sun was shining…

But all these things are only joyous if the golf is good also and that there is a smattering of memorable shots to keep us all believing.

Like a hallowed hole-in-one for instance, which I managed on the 5th – my first ever and probably my last.

It was fortunate that Sam and Paddy were there to witness this feat of brilliance.

And so for the record…

Coombe Wood Golf Club. Hole 5, par 3, 167 yards. 7 iron. BOOM.

Appropriate that my ball was new and monikered with a 1.

A peerless shot. Perfect. Cannot be bettered or improved on. A shot to gladden the heart of the best golfers on earth; Rory, Scottie, Xander, Tiger…

And a certain player called Ricky Randall. The hero of Open Links which I am delighted to say has been nominated in the prestigious Sports Book of the Year Awards.

The short-list is announced today – hence my extra-ordinary blog – and the perfect timing of my hole-in-one, to add to the excitement.

You might be wondering if my peerless form continued to hole 6 and beyond?

Er no, it did not.

But deep down, you knew this already. It deserted me completely which is why I am nothing like Rory McIlroy even though I am capable of such shots.

Which is the kernel of Open Links. It has been an idea of mine for many years – probably since I first pured a 4 iron – and I imagined it could be a wonderful story to tell.

So being recognised in these book awards is thrilling. Of course, I hope it might win on May 1st but no matter because it validates my book anyway and might generate a broader appeal and contribute significant funds to Anthony Nolan.

And finally…

Tom was in Greece recently – for the making of The Odyssey – and with a light filming schedule and an array of golf courses around and his clubs with him…

He plays good golf as you may know. An official handicap of 2.8, he is amongst the most well-known amateur golfers and is invited to play in all tournaments and on every course…

Nice.

But this doesn’t mean that his golfing life is fun.

This is golf, remember.

In Greece he played badly and called me regularly in despair as the bogies and doubles buried him and his spirits. He certainly didn’t call to thank me. More like, dad why did you ever introduce me to this f***** game.

Tiger Woods, by most metrics is the greatest golfer of all-time and one of the richest and most acclaimed athletes on earth. And yet, in his palatial home he laments that he never managed to eclipse the great Jack Nicklaus…

Rory McIlroy won’t be even halfway contented with his career unless he bags The Masters and at least 3 further majors as a decent return on his extravagant talents.

Herein is the game of golf. Intoxicating and infuriating in equal measure.

Because ultimately the only winner is the game itself and never the player.

Open Links is not the best sports book published last year – but I venture that it might just be the most fun, and is certainly the only book that literally can save people’s lives.

*

And finally, I feel a need to confess something.

In-line with Tom’s fame as an amateur golfer, brands are constantly trying to clothe him and have him use their equipment, including the good people at GoodGood.

GoodGood is a brand owned by a bunch of elite golfers from US colleges who have found fame on YouTube and good for them. They regularly send Tom an array of their latest gear. Tee shirts, jumpers, belts, hats…

But they use my address and with gigs becoming thinner on the ground, I do not pass this clobber on and I am aware that this might even be theft.

And so it feels like a load off admitting this now – both to the people at GoodGood and to my son also.

For the record, I am seen after my ace (or eagle) (or hole-in-one) sporting a light blue GoodGood jumper – better suited perhaps to a golfer without a paunch (someone like Tom Holland) and is available online but unlike me, you will need to pay.

If the GoodGood guys read this, my apologies and I understand if the parcels cease.

Open Links is available here to buy – or is free to read here.