The laws of twitter

Twitter is ultimately a popularity contest – an event played out openly for all to see whether particpants like it or not. 

How many followers?

This is the first question or the first thing that people look at.

It denotes status. 

And the ratio is absolutely central and key - 

Following : Followed

We have all been culled from lists when this ratio gets a little unbalanced.

Celebs in general only follow people of a similar status. They guard their celebrity fiercely and they don’t like to share their star dust with minions below them. I have heard some terrifying stories of famous comedians not following back old mates who are still playing the clubs. Mean spirited? Or just human nature? Probably, a bit of both.

A golden rule is – DON’T EVER ASK FOR A FOLLOW.  Something I have learnt from bitter past experience. It is always humiliating, rarely bears fruit and usually leaves a sour taste.

But the key to the twitter preimer league status is a little blue tick. I refer of course to becoming verfied. The seductive blue tick that says you are the one and the only… or to use the official definition – “…to act as ultimate proof or evidence of; serve to confirm”

Hallowed status which people who are desperate to attain and believe me, they throw much energy and money at to achieve. 

Well, this week, this honour was bestowed on twitter newcomer @tomholland1996

Way ahead of languishng in his wake @domholland – his dad – the man who bloody well made him all those years ago…

Poeple have asked me if this upsets me which thankfully I laugh at. It is the kernel of my story that I have been writing about.

Plus I like being unverified. 

I don’t need a Californian nerd in flip flops to confirm who I am. I know who I am. I am Dominic Holland. A Comedian and Writer – who despite my best efforts over the past 20 years is probably now best known for being the dad of @tomholland1996

He’s verified you know…



4 thoughts on “The laws of twitter

  1. Sasha says:

    Good truth, nobody needs a verfied to know who he is, we are all important; Also congratulations to Tom that increasingly more of followers increases… And don’t worry that there are still many people that you know by Dominic not by ‘Tom’s Dad’
    I’d like to read this.

  2. Liam says:

    I tried to access this blog last night and it said “bandwidth exceeded”. There is definitely status in having a blog popular enough that it exceeds its quota!

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