How fashion herds us all


Below is an extract from – how tom holland Eclipsed his dad

 I have never been a cool person. I am not trendy. I have nothing pierced. The only metal in my face are my fillings. I have no tattoos. I’ve never dyed my hair. Apart from some fairly low-grade marijuana, I’ve never done drugs. I’ve never dropped an E and nor an H for that matter, unless I have a workman to the house. I’ve never been to Glastonbury. I’ve never woken up in the wrong bed or with the wrong person. The only time I’ have ever worn a hat is on a golf course. I play golf. And I’ve hardly ever been late, for anything.

Being late can be considered chic but this is a mistake. Being late is always rude. But what is chic is being allowed to be late. Being forgiven for keeping everyone waiting denotes status. And the higher your status, the later you can be with no apology required either. This is not where I live. I am always early and true to form, Tom and I are outside room 412 with a full ten minutes to spare.


This writing and the point it makes is relevant here because until an hour ago, I almost had a beard – which somehow are currently the must have fashion accessory for men. In Soho nowadays, one can’t walk freely down Wardour Street for all the facial hair. But my current growth was not a fashion statement. More laziness and the fact that I didn’t have any gigs over the last two weeks that required me to be presentable. Tonight, I do. Thank God.

You will see from the photo that my facial growth is a reluctant harvest. I have a discontinuous growth meaning that I cannot grow a beard if I wanted to – but with my height and my curly thinning mane on top of my head, I fear the best beard I could manage would complete my gnome look and would therefore be inadvisable.

Incidentally, the piece above refers to a meeting at the Soho Grand Hotel, New York, that my son was attending with a movie director and a couple of movie stars. I noted then a preponderance of skinny men with heavily tattooed arms, beards and hats. Fashion is a fascinating phenomenon and how it herds us all eventually. That meeting was two years ago but as with most cultural things – it happens in America first and it has finally arrived here.

Now somehow looking like a geek is trendy. Physics teachers and Liberal Democrats are finally in vogue – and good for them – just a shame I am unable to join in myself.



how tom holland Eclipsed his dad is an ebook available on Amazon and Smashwords.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *