I guess that stand up comedy fits in to theÂ category of things that should not be attempted. This is because it is difficult and most people will fail – and fail painfully. There is no unpainful way to stand on stage to silence when thereÂ should be laughter.
Stand-up comedy I can do – as proven by the fact that I am still working – but changing wiper blades is somethingÂ way beyond me.
This weekend I am gigging all over – Nottingham, Cambridge and then Chester – coming home each night – and aware that my car wipers are more smearing than clearing, I was mindful to do something about it.
I am not referring to changing the entire wiper arm. In the recess of my mind I had stored some information from a Jewish friend of mine who is the master of paying not a penny more for anything that he needs. He once forced Tesco to change the rules of their Clubcard. I don’t even have a clubcard. The information was something like -Â “WiperÂ arms are very expensive but I know a place where they sell just the rubber blades and they can be slid in to place, no problem.”
Driving back from this shopÂ today with my new blades – I was mightily smug and proud of myself. I had saved Â£25 and I was going to do something practical and useful for a change. Writing books! Big deal. I was about to become a car mechanic.
I made a schoolboy error straight away by announcing to my wife and boys what IÂ was going to do after dinner.
That was two hours ago now and I have conceded defeat. I have two blades on my desk in pieces. Tomorrow I will need to go to my garage with my various bits. He will laugh at me as much as my family have already done.
And if I can’t get the wipers replaced – the gigs must go on and so I will takeÂ my life in to my hands and pray to Pope Francis for dry nights. Otherwise I could die and I don’t mean on stage – although this would be equally unpleasant.
You will know the outcome if this indeed turns out to be the post on this blog of mine…
One thought on “Some things should not be attempted…”
My brother was a mechanic fords for 7 years but he was fired so now he can’t fix are car any more